Sleeping with a deceitful lover by alandra

alandra

Glimpsing the dusty truth masquerading as pie and ice cream was one thing, but scratching the veneer of deceits that you had polished to such perfection was quite another. As I walked down the road I kept hoping I'd find some little detail that would allow me to get my mind's fingers beneath the lid of this illusion and lift it up to see what charmless thing lay inside. If you had been made of stale mud and spittle, and your heart of dust, what was your words itself made of? However hard I stared, I could not pierce your lies. It delighted my senses with warmth and color and the scents of summer; it cooed softly on my ears and played its gentle airs against my face.
Even when I reached the dark landing at the top of the final flight, you continued to pretend that this was just another innocent game of hide and seek, like the countless games I had seen you played in the shadow. There were 3 choices, each one of them ajar a few inches, trying to convince and confuse me, as if to say: there are no secrets here, not from you who wants the truth. Come and look! Come and see! If you dare. I dared, but not in the way you had planned. After spending a few moments thinking and examining, I was able to puzzle the problem out, so, I ignored all of your choices, and instead went on my own. I did not let my self to be fooled again by your bitter sweet words and you plain little drama of insecurity.
It was a hard work hauling up myself up, but I knew that this game was almost at an end. The deceitful lover is near. Who else but a master of deceit would live in a place so bereft, filthy, murky and cobwebbed, no one but you, my love. It was no use thinking I would surprise you, of course, I already knew that you are watching every step I take, every action I move and you're just waiting for my next step. Then the confrontation came, there was no reply from you at first, but then- from somewhere at the end- I heard a low, guttural growl. Not waiting for my eyes to become fully accustomed to the gloom I started towards the utterance, the sound is creaking beneath my feet as I went on. There is no point of denying it all, there is no reason at all to pretend innocent, I already know your game. If this is what you want, then we can play, but this I promise that I won't be losing this game, I am the one will put this to an end.
I told myself to put such imaginings out of my head and to concentrate. I did just that, there were enough real reasons to be fearful here without inventing more. The game is over, I already know what you did, there is no reason of hiding it from me. I kept my eyes fixed upon your eyes, but you would not dare to stare at me, no you won't because my eyes only speaks the truth. I was a fool to sleep with a deceitful lover. You have brought enough pain into my paradise. Shame on you! Shame on you! I was shuddering to my marrow, but I knew this was no time to show my fear.
I would deal on this, the way you did; pretending courage even if I did not feel it. I came to get what was mine, that's all, I want my life back. I will not pity you. For you made my life, a life in hell. Creating fantasy, deceiving my senses out of reality. How could you possibly pretend to love me when you know how much I loved you. I don't want to lose you this way, but I can't persuade to think again, after all I've done you no harm. You stole my heart that was not suppose for you. What I know is that when the day we met, I had given you the best day of my life, and now its completely gone. I came for what you took, I want my life back, my life without you, without you on my sight.

~alandra
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