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Selamat datang di situs Boyzforum yang diarsipkan oleh Queer Indonesia Archive. Forum untuk komunitas gay Indonesia yang populer ini didirikan pada tahun 2003, dan ditutup pada tanggal 15 Desember 2020.
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Forum ini diabadikan untuk kepentingan sejarah. Tidak akan ada konten baru di forum ini. Silakan menikmati forum ini sebagai potongan dari sejarah queer Indonesia.
Fan fiction, sekuel: The love of siam... TamaT
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Some 3 years passed. Mew live alone as before, hoping and consider himself still loved by Tong. He and August Band has gained popularity, 2 studio albums, they now are going to university, alongside band activity, which takes away their private time. Tong hasn't contact Mew since christmas three years ago, makes Mew wandering what should he do.
First year since the good bye conversation, he lived in a sweet dream, enveloped by Tong's statement: ... Doesn't mean i don't love you... And the Nose piece Tong gave him made him believe that Tong has finally completed his love for him. That believe was carried around by Mew everywhere he goes, his activity at August Band, concerts performances, rehearsals, his loneliness at home.
He doesn't know how his feeling towards Tong, and how he think Tong would feels toward him, would affect him years to come. Infused with beautiful fatamorgana, yet unreal as it is, since Tong doesn't seek for him nor does Tong text message him, Mew tries to keep himself happy enough but more and more excluded from his social life and the band member who cares for him. Slowly but steadily this feeling would take away Mew's spirit towards life and love.
Two years passed, band's member notice Mew begin to withdraw from the others, even from Aex, his best friend. The band can't help the situation since Mew keeps most of his duty fulfilled and only he is becoming more absent-minded.
Mew began to feel a sense of lost towards Tong, wondering what keeps Tong from seeking him. His longing for Tong grows bit by bit after he felt he still keeps Tong's love.
The fact he live all alone in his house worsen this condition. Every night he let his heart become wounded by his imagination, at times he weeps for this sense of lost, hoping Tong would call or text him.
Around this time Aex approach Mew, try to visit Mew, paying more attention for him. He doesn't know how it started, with weeks by weeks passing his attention grow into passion. That all are skipped by Mew who still blindly hope for Tong
The condition get worse with Mew began to skip few rehearsals at first, and scarsely supervise the recording session. If then he show up, he has his mind almost all the time elsewhere. Aex doesn't give up on Mew, trying to win his heart, and bare the wound that he is almost unseen by Mew.
Once Aex tries to talk to Mew, but Mew doesn't respond well, going around with any kind of reason he just can grab. How brave Aex to stand this kind of rejection, especially addressed at wrong timing.
Eventually, in the third year Mew can't stand it anymore. His feelings for Tong became a poison which has taken away his enthusiasm, his joy, his light, and grow dim and dimmer. He locked himself alone at home for days, barely eat anything, stay in bed, confused about everything, and there is a great sense of void in his heart.
15.04.12
Meanwhile, Ying, now become one of his closest friend, does notice what is going on with Mew. She tries to keep Mew to behold his sense of reallity. Almost every night Ying comes by Mew's house eventhough he seems not to notice her present, many times with Aex together giving more live to Mew's house
Initially Ying share the same thought that Tong would soon declare his love for Tong. After seeing Mew grow dim, Ying think something is not right there between the two. She don't understand Either what keeps Tong.
One day, she passes her way woth Tong at Siam Square,
"Hi Tong, where have you been?"
"Hi Ying, where are you going?"
"I'm just window shopping, if lucky I would find something nice... Tong... May I ask you something?"
"Yes..."
"I've notice you haven't seen Mew for quite time... Do you have problem with him?"
Tong takes a while to answer
"I'm not yet ready to give what Mew needs"
Ying pay a closer look into Tong's eye
"I think Mew needs you right now"
"I know... But my mom still needs time"
"you can text him or call him, let him know you still care for him"
Tong hesistate
"I wish the things are simpler, I myself need time, I need to keep my family too, my dad is on his recovery, my mom just accept me as I am now, I want things going step by step. By the way, say to Mew I still love him.."
"Okay"
Tong's phone ring, then Ying makes her way, and take part with Tong
Later evening, Ying comes by Mew'd house, listening to some chinese love songs.
"Mew, I met Tong afternoon, says he still loves you..."
Ying expect Mew to blossom, but instead, Mew keeps quiet, she even sees Mew try to surpress his feeling
"What's up Mew? You looks sad?"
Mew doesn't answer immidiately
"I wish Tong himself would say it to my face... Text message is not that hard"
Ying can't argue with Mew, she also thinks that should have been more appropriate.
"Mew... don't be sad, Tong seems to have his own burden wyh his family, he looks like taking a huge responsibility, like taking in his dad's role..."
Ying tries milden Mew's pain.
"I'm not making this up, you know..., the fact I saw him makes me able to say this"
"Ying, thank you for such a good friend to me, I would be completely lonely without you sticking around like bee to honey"
Mew tries to cheer up. Ying laughed.
16.04.12
At other side, Tong made a huge desicion by sacrificing his love for Mew, for the sake of his family. After The advent of June eventhough only for brief time, has enabled Korn to heal and slowly walk out of his depression. Tong distance himself from his greatest love for his mother not to give anymore burden, eventhough his mom too, tries to accept Tong's sexual orientation step by step. With this Tong hope that he can cure his family and bring back to the wonderfull time
He take a great risk by letting Mew hear nothing from him, think that Mew would understand his reason, love needs time and he needs his family to recover first in order to walk out with full freedom with Mew. There are many days Tong wishes he can text messaging or give Mew a call, even he is so close to dial Mew's number, ending up by pushing the "end" botton. From his heart he want to search for Mew so bad and give him the long yearned hug. Almost every night he imagine himself going to Mew's house and to find Mew might be waiting for him.
He still not very sure whether his mom would now let him go for his love or not, there is no visible sign of her accepting his sexual orientation. She hasn't talk with him either, concentrating to become the pillar of the family like before, although she has milden her ways a bit.
When he walks at Siam Square, his memory of the first time Mew found him comes back, stands there for a while, silently hoping Mew would be there, looking around, hope to see even his band member who would bring him back to Mew. As time goes, he realized he has stood there long enough and yet he sees none of them.
Other days, he stop by the river, sit there picturing Mew were at his side. He was even so close to Mew's house, but his courage dropped to go further.
As great Mew's love for Tong, Mew also feels the same way, both of them are longing for each other, but also too afraid to manifest his love
16.04.12
One day, he pass his way with the poster of the raising August Band performing at one of the mall. He stand still, his eyes keep staring at the poster, this time with the photos of the band member since the band has gain more popularity after full featured album has been released. His eyes are lock to the picture of Mew, his heart aches from his longing for him. His mind wandering to the past times, his first meeting with Mew with his band member, his first visit, his first kiss ever... Tong tries to control his tears, as all those memories still warm inside his mind. It is difficult for him to move away from the poster, but he doesn't want to looks odd so he makes his way with his mind still attached to the poster.
His band member tries their best to keep Mew happy. By now they see that Mew this time tries to be professional with the works, avoiding those absent like what he did in the past, tries to put boundary between privat matter and work's duty. The producer has spoken with him about August band becoming more popular, successful concert performaces and singles, producing next studio album, obligation to be strictly in rehearsal, since the band has gain more popularity and the next album is now highly anticipated. Although Mew by now can discern between his mood and band's obligation, his struggle to keep his sadness not to get out is still visible.
One day during the recording session, the producer mentioned his dissatisfaction with one particular song which needs him to express his feeling, saying that Mew is emotionally too remote for the song. Aex sees how Mew struggles to get the things right, putting his feeling to that song. Only after Mew's hard detemination, he finally nails the song, with his mood even got worse.
Aex has gained better access to Mew since Aex attemps to get more closer to him, though it's not always easy for Aex to gain access to talk with Mew. But recent times, Mew has been opened up bit by bit towards Aex.
"Mew, are you sad?"
Ask Aex after the session, as they're hanging out outside
"I ... I miss Tong lately...haven't seen him at all"
"You mean... He never contact you?"
Ask Aex surprised. Mew shake his head slowly with a hint of sadness. He is now a bit open to Aex, seeing Aex genuine quality as a true good friends. Aex knowledge about Mew's gay identity make him now also makes Mew become more open to him.
"Why don't you call him then?"
Mew doesn't answer that question, he is already sunken deep in his mind, his sadness.
"Mew, you still have us, and me as your pal...don't forget us"
Mew look into Aex eye and smiles
"Thanks Aex...you're such a good friend"
With Aex has been witnessing Mew's long suffering, he starts to see Mew from different angle. He somehow want to give what Mew desires, he wants Mew to be happy. He is not sure yet how to compete against Tong, but his deep feeling for Mew can't be disguised for longer. With Mew become more open to him makes his way smooth to express his feeling.
"Mew, is it only Tong which inside your heart?"
"I love him since we were children, he was the first to accept me as I am, as other scolded me"
"Don't you see, the time has passed, now you have us, August band, we're also fine with your identity, long before we know your identity..."
Both keep the silence for a while
"Mew, there's also one thing I want to say"
"What is it Aex?"
Aex hesitate
"I have seen you suffering for him. Do you see here, what if there's a person want to give you happiness? Not far from you..."
Mew at first doesn't get what Aex intend to say
"It will be difficult for me to divert my heart to others, Aex..."
"But if he keep his distance, will you always wait for him?"
"I don't know, Aex, that is my burden i have been carrying around since christmas three years ago"
"Let me carry your burden, Mew, I will give you happiness, I will always try hard to make you happy. Let me fill your heart, Mew"
Aex, wait anxiously, while Mew, a bit surprised, but tries to hide it
"Aex, I do thank you for your heart, I'm afraid, I will be always waiting for him. You're my best friend, I don't want to hurt your feeling, I want to keep our friendship like this"
"Mew, it symphatize me to see you suffers so long just for him. I wish I could be the one you hope, and I promise, I will give you all the happiness you never had"
Mew looks into Aex. He never sees Aex behave this way. He feels strange, all these years he has been seeing Aex as the joy bringer, the one who always find ways to entertrain, but now, he sees all Aex's tenderness, almost like another new person Mew just know. For a brief moment Mew gets mesmerized, but he still doesn't feels any sparks for Aex. He is sad to turn Aex down, but he doesn't want to give Aex false hope.
"Sorry, Aex, I can't give you empty hope, I still love Tong, eventhough he makes me sad, I'm sorry, Aex"
"Let me wait for you to be ready for me someday. I will wait for you, Mew"
"You're my best friend, Aex, I don't want to hurt you"
"I'm strong, Mew, I can wait for you, I'll do everything to deserve your heart"
Mew gets sad, he knows, it will be impossible for him to give Aex his heart, yet he doesn't want to turn him down.
One evening, Ying drop by and for his unusual manner, this time it is Mew who starts the conversation
"Ying, is it wrong if I love someone else?"
Ying is a bit surprised, but not about the question, but the initiative Mew take to starts the talk.
"It is ok, Mew... You mean...Aex?"
Mew doesn't answer directly, but show the gesture that the answer is yes
"If I see Tong has neither call nor text you, in a sense you're free to take other. Has Tong explicitly ask you to wait for him?"
Mew take a while to answer
"He just said, he can't be my boyfriend, but still he loves me"
Ying hesistate to answer. This confession is the first te to be spoken out from him
"It is not so simple with you and Tong, both of you love each other, but what can I say if Tong himself is not ready to be your boyfriend... You can let other love you in this context... If i'm not wrong"
"Would I hurt Tong then, if I'm others boyfriend?"
"Sure I think...but again...why didn't Tong go for you now then...? Mew... I don't say you should forget Tong right now... but it hurts me to see you waiting and suffering for Tong...and there's no clear status between you...that's what I mean... "
"Thanks Ying, even that is very hard for me to take other. I still love Tong...but I need someone here by myside right here right now..."
Ying doesn't reply quick, still wandering in her thought.
"Should I talk with Tong then?"
"Don't ... I want him to want to go for me... If not, I better be alone...."
Eventhough Mew has spend times to think about Aex, he still not yet ready to take him as Tong's replacement. Yet Aex doesn't give up on Mew, eventhough he knows he is many times at wrong timing at Mew's house, he still sticks around with Mew, cheering him up and pull Mew from his darkest hour, though Mew doesn't him appraisal for all those directly, Aex does it all, hoping someday he might win Mew's heart.
One early evening, Aex is waiting at the front of Mew's house, from the window, Ying sees Aex. Ying greets Aex and comes down to give him sone company. She also sees the implicit signs of Aex to be in love at Mew, and she knows exactly how difficult Mew to open his heart for Aex.
"Aex, are you sure what are you doing?"
Ask Ying, when both of them are waiting for Mew to get home.
"I will always try to win his heart. I want to give him what Tong fails to do...."
"Fails to do...we both know that only Tong can make Mew happy, and all the time I see it is Tong Mew longing for..
Ying hesistate...
... I saw and talked with Tong, it seems Tong is also longing for Mew, but he talks about his family..."
"What I know, I want to fill in the void Tong left on Mew"
"I hope you're ready if Mew someday decide for Tong, you can't compete against Tong"
Aex hesistate...
"I just hope Mew can see..."
Just as Aex about to complete his statement, Mew is nearing the house and they then join for light supper.
One morning Mew received text from Aex that he will not be joining for rehearsal,for he has cought fever and he is alone at home, while his parents are outside the town.
Mew then tell the rest of the band to cancell the rehearsal, or at least to wrap 1 track and together visiting Aex.
Later after the take, they are going shopping for foods and some medicine, without waisting much time heading Aex home.
Indeed, Aex is alone, opening the house door by himself. Aex's eye sparks, more to see the band's member and specially Mew. The bands member stayed untill dinner, joking around, there were a lot of snacks and they keep the atmosphere light. At about evening after they have the dinner, they are back home, then Mew take initiative to stay overnight by Aex's to watch over him.
"Mew, thanks for your care, staying and taking your time to be with me"
Mew smiles
"It's nothing Aex, you have helped me a lot, especially when I drop my mood and it's my time to take care of you now"
Mew is surprise to see Aex's eyes become moist and get red.
"Aex, what's up? Why you're weeping?"
Aex doesn't answer Mew right away, keep staring at him with eyes getting more tears
"It's the first time you do something to me, It's the most beautiful things ever done to me, even only small things, it means so much more to me since it is you, who I still hope for"
Mew can't hold his emotion, replies
"How can I be so blind to dismiss all your goodness to me... It's the least I can do and I..."
Aex's eye are lock at Mew's
"... I think you have win my heart, you have filled the void inside me with your presence. I will be sticking around with you now... Since I will need you..."
For Aex, it is the most beautiful words comes from Mew. He can't hold his tears... From overjoy...
"Don't cry Aex, I'm here to wipe your tears"
At the same time he swipe his finger over Aex tears so tenderly. Aex can't do anything else but sobbing. Mew got himself crying together with him for that moment. For long time, Aex will always remember this moment. They are holding their hands, afraid to let loose, they want to keep this moment forever...
"Aex... Have you ehmmm... Take bath? You smells..."
Aex is caught by surprise to have that question after such a beautifull and tender moment they just had. Aex begin to laugh, followed by Mew.
"Let me assisst you, I'll prepare the warm water"
said Mew going to the kitchen.
After about 13 minutes, Mew comes back with a bucket with warm water, Aex then tells him where the towels are.
Mew didn't expect to see Aex perfect built. All this years he only see Aex prankster, humor, not this. Slowly Mew helps Aex to wash his body.
"Thanks Mew, you are the first of my good friends to help me washing.
Mew slowly see the persistence on Aex to win his heart, sacrifice so much for him, he would be blind to dismiss all of them. Aex is by far not Tong, but he is always there for him, Aex does all this without complaining, eventhough Mew has told him always, that he still has Tong in his heart, doesn't discourage him to still hold unto his hope.
Mew has opened his mind that it has been Aex who has filled his heart silently, who has been with him in all these dark hours, where he lock himself, it has been Aex who knock's the door of Mew's heart, patiently waiting for the door on one fine day to be opened for him. He still can't look how Aex will be his heart protector, but now he won't dismiss the thought by now. Slowly Mew beginning to accept Aex to be his live partner for the future. So, the longing for Tong was replaced with Aex.
15-17.04.12
For now Aex is Mew's protector, soul mate, partner and Aex tries with all his might to make Mew happy, to fill Mew's heart with his love. Up to certain degree Mew is happy with his new found love. They decide not yet to announce it ti the band and let it flows. They don't share the same living place, but Aex is now more seen in Mew's house together with Ying which adds the joy and cheerfulness to the three of them.
Only one bug is still lingering inside Mew's heart, it's his silent love for Tong. For now Mew still can conceal this from Aex, who is blindedly in love with him, but sometime in the future he sense that this is going to be a painfull conflict. Mew knows exactly that deep in his heart, he still picturing Tong in Aex position, and silently hopes for it. "... If only I had waited a little longer..." , a useless exclaimation by now, but it always echoes in his head especially when he is alone before sleep. He still remembers Tong layed beside him at that fatefull night, still remembers the smells of the pillow from Tong's head after Tong silently take part and went home. Mew still hug that pillow once in a while when he feels the need to have Tong around him, and in all this years each time he holds that pillow, he feels so close to Tong, feels the exact same feeling the first time they were so close to each other, even he still feel loved by Tong, substituted by that pillow.
But at other side, Aex determination and sacrifices is not easy to overlook, Aex did all this from his heart. For an Aex's character who is always be fun, extrovert and be the band's fire, this change is so great, to see Aex become tender, caring, hoping and almost begging Mew's heart. Often these move Mew's heart into tears. He doesn't expect Aex is going that far for him and gives him abundence of love, which sometimes caughts Mew's breath away.
Months passed, Mew tries to accept in his heart that Aex is now his love. Initially Mew take on Aex merely because of his determination, but then Mew is moved by Aex's sincere love, Aex never demand anything, simply trying to love Mew genuinely no matter Aex know he still hopes for Tong.
They share their time more together, more often at Mew's house. Aex then go so far as staying overnight after many studio session, from there the band knows their relationship.
With Aex around, Mew feels quite happy, able to put his hidden love for Tong by side, but whenever alone, the thought of Tong is creeping slowly and silently, waiting for the perfect moment to get its way back to his mind. Mew has actually never stopped loving Tong. But in some way, Mew is showing Tong that his heart is not anymore easy gets pulled and let go like he felt from Tong few years before. He wants to show Tong, that he needs someone to be with him at the present, not far in the uncertain future. As big as his desire to be with Tong at that moment, so is his urge to resist Tong for the sake of Aex.
Time passes, Mew slowly able to view Aex as his love, after so much inner battle, he is then ready to embrace Aex wholeheartedly, to receive Aex love, he then starts to feel the need to be around Aex more often. Mew's body gesture shows, he really needs and loves Aex sincerely
Chapter 1
Tiga tahun terlewati tanpa terasa. Mew hidup sendiri di rumah mendiang neneknya, memilih tidak ikut orang tuanya. Bahkan sudah sejak jelas 5 SD Mew sudah tidak tinggal bersama.
Karir di August Band sudah menanjak. Dua studio album telah dihasilkan, berbagai konser dan pertunjukkan live di mall- mall telah mereka jalankan. Mereka secara individu dan secara band telah dikenal di kalangan masyarakat luas.
Mew sejak Natal terakhir tidak pernah berhubungan dengan Tong. Selama itu pula Mew terus membayangkan masih mencintai dan dicintai Tong. Ia terus berandai- andai sendiri di rumahnya.
Satu tahun setelah perpisahannya dengan Tong, dia hidup di dalam dunia mimpi yang indah, diselubungi oleh kata- katanya: "... Itu bukan berarti aku tidak mencintaimu..." tongkat hidung yang dia berikan tiga tahun silam membuatnya percaya, bahwa Tong akhirnya melengkapi cintanya untuk Mew. Keyakinan itu yang selalu Mew bawa setiap saat, kemana saja ia melangkah bahkan hingga kesendiriannya di rumah.
Dia tak sadar, bahwa perasaannya terhadap Tong, apa yang Tong rasakan kepadanya akan mempengaruhi hidupnya tahun- tahun kedepan. Mew dibutakan oleh fatamorgana yang indah namun palsu, karena selama ini Tong tak pernah mencari, menghubunginya, bahkan tak satupun sms darinya selama ini. Mew berusaha untuk bahagia dengan semua ini, tetapi semua pemikirannya perlahan- lahan membuatnya semakin terasing dari teman- teman satu bandnya. Ia secara perlahan mulai kehilangan semangat karena ilusi yang ia ciptakan sendiri tidak pernah menjadi kenyataan.
Dua tahun berselang, anggota band mulai memperhatikan Mew mulai menarik diri dari mereka, bahkan dari Aex, teman karibnya. Mereka tidak dapat berbuat banyak, karena semua tugas band masih tetap dilaksanakan dengan lancar, hanya dia sudah mulai terlihat lebih terasing sendiri. Mew mulai merasa kehilangan Tong, mulai bertanya mengapa Tong meninggalkannya. Rasa rindunya untuk Tong bertambah kuat, namun tak ada satupun bukti dari Tong mencintainya secara nyata. Tinggal sendirian di rumahnya hanya membuat kondisinya bertambah buruk. Tidak jarang dia meneteskan air mata karena rasa rindunya, sangat amat ingin di sapa Tong, di kirimi sms, atau di telepon, jalan- jalan di sekitar Siam Square.
Di keadaan seperti ini, Aex mulai mendekati Mew, memperhatikannya lebih dari sekedar teman. Sedikit demi sedikit, minggu menjadi bulan, perhatiannya tumbuh menjadi pengharapan cinta. Namun semua itu terlewatkan begitu saja oleh Mew, yang begitu butanya masih mengharapkan Tong.
Kondisinya bertambah buruk dengan Mew mulai absen dari latihan band, berlanjut kepada jarangnya memonitor hasil rekaman band sebelum di olah menjadi master track. Kalaupun hadir, mereka memperhatikan jiwanya yang absen. Namun Aex tidak pernah menyerah untuk mendapatkan hati Mew. Perjuangannya tidak pernah tertahankan oleh apapun, tetap saja masih tak terlihat oleh Mew. Sesekali Aex sudah pernah mencoba untuk mengungkapkan apa yang ada di hatinya. Namun entah apa yang ada di benak Mew, yang menjawab sekenanya, dengan alasan apapun yang bisa dia dapatkan saat itu. Benar- benar kuat Aex mampu menepis semua itu dan tidak menyerah sedikitpun.
Tahun ke tiga, rasa rindunya sudah mulai berubah menjadi racun bagi hatinya. Sinar kegembiraannya perlahan- lahan meredup. Dia mulai mengunci dirinya sendiri di rumahnya, hampir tak makan, mulai tidak lagi mampu menerima kenyataan ini, mulai merasa ada lubang hitam di dalam hatinya.
Sementara itu, Ying yang sekarang menjadi teman akrabnya, sudah melihat apa yang terjadi pada Mew. Dia terus berusaha untuk Mew tetap berpijak pada realita selain memperhatikannya secara kebutuhan sehari- harinya. Hampir setiap malam dia selalu mampir, walau terkadang Mew kurang sadar akan kehadirannya. Terkadang Aex pun ikut bersama di rumah Mew memberikan sedikit kehidupan dalam rumahnya.
Awalnya Ying sependapat dengan pemikiran Tong akan menyatakan cintanya kepada Mew. Hanya, setelah melihat harapan Mew akan Tong semakin berpudar, dia mulai fikir ada sesuatu yang tidak beres dengan semua ini. Dia juga tidak tahu apa yang menghambat Tong menghubungi Mew.
Satu hari, Ying berpas- pasan dengan Tong di Siam Square,
"Hai Tong, kemana aja lu?"
"Hai Ying, gimana kabarnya?"
"Gua cuma window shopping aja, kalo beruntung sih bisa dapet barang bagus... Tong, boleh gak gua tanya sesuatu?"
"Boleh aja..."
"Gue perhatiin lu udah lama gak ketemu Mew... Ada masalah ama kalian berdua?"
Tong berfikir sejenak untuk mendapatkan jawabannya.
"Gua belon siap kasih apa yang Mew butuh."
Ying menatap Tong langsung ke matanya.
"Gue pikir, Mew sekarang lagi butuh lu deh..."
"Iyah sih, tapi... Nyokap gua yang belon siap untuk sekarang."
"Sms ato telpon dia lah... Agar dia tau lu masih care ama dia."
Tong ragu- ragu
"Coba kalo semuanya lebih sederhana, gue butuh waktu, gue harus take care keluarga gue, nyokap baru aja mau ngerti gue gini, bokap lagi rehab alkohol. Gue mau semuanya jalan satu- satu. Gue tetep cinta dia..."
"Okay."
Ponsel Tong berbunyi, dan Ying pun pamitan. Malamnya, seperti biasanya, Ying mampir ke rumah Mew sambil mendengarkan beberapa lagu Mandarin.
"Tadi sore gua liat Tong. Dia bilang dia cinta lu loh."
Ying berharap ada rona wajah Mew berkembang, namun yang terjadi malah sebaliknya, Mew diam. Dia melihat Mew terlihat menahan perasaannya.
"Kenapa? Ada apa kok jadi sedih?"
Mew tak langsung menjawab.
"Gua harap dia bilang itu langsung ke gue. Sms kan gak mahal ato susah..."
Ying tak mungkin membantahnya. Betul kata hatinya atas ucapan Mew.
"Mew, jangan sedih... Tong kayaknya juga punya beban sendiri ama bokap nyokapnya. Kayaknya dia ambil tanggung jawab yang terlalu gede, kayak berusaha gantiin tugas bokapnya..."
Ying berusaha menghibur.
"Gua gak ngarang cerita seenaknya. Karena gua liat dia langsung, makanya gua bisa bilang ini."
"Ying, makasih yah udah jadi temen gua yang baek. Gua akan bener- bener terisolasi kalo gak ada lu, yang nempel kayak semut ama gula."
"Hahaha... Itu lu sendiri yang mengisolasi diri sendiri."
Mew berusaha untuk ceria, dan tawa Ying pun pecah.
Chapter 2
Di sisi lain, Tong membuat satu keputusan besar dengan mengorbankan cintanya kepada Mew, demi keluarganya. Setelah hadirnya June walau untuk waktu singkat, telah membuat Korn mampu mengumpulkan niat untuk keluar dari depresi dan ketergantungan alkoholnya. Tong sengaja menjauhi Mew, cinta terbesarnya, untuk supaya tidak membuat tekanan lebih besar lagi pada keluarganya, terutama ibunya, yang sedang memulihkan dirinya, sekalipun ibunya mulai berusaha menerima orientasi sexualnya sedikit demi sedikit. Dengan semua ini, Tong berharap dapat menyembuhkan luka batin keluarganya dan sesudahnya mengejar kebahagiaannya dengan Mew.
Tong mengambil resiko besar dengan membiarkan Mew tidak mendengar apapun, dengan fikiran dia akan mengerti alasannya, cinta membutuhkan waktu, dia membutuhkan keluarganya untuk pulih supaya mereka bisa memberi restu untuk mencintainya tanpa beban. Banyak hari- hari dimana Tong berharap bisa mengirimkan sms atau menelpon Mew. Terkadang Tong sudah meng 'klik' nomor Mew, tapi ketika dia sudah tekan, ia buru- buru menekan 'end call'. Dia sudah sangat rindu untuk bisa memeluknya, seringkali membayangkannya datang ke rumahnya, berangan- angan Mew menunggunya di depan rumahnya.
Dia masih belum benar- benar yakin ibunya akan mampu memberi restu akan cintanya. Walau sudah tidak lagi terlalu melindungi, tapi belum dia melihat tanda apapun yang membuatnya mampu bebas mendekati Mew.
Ketika dia berada di Siam Square, kenangan pertamanya bertemu dengan Mew muncul di dalam benaknya. Diam- diam berharap akan bertemu dengan Mew di sana. Pada hari lain, ia terkadang berdiri disana melihat kalau- kalau ada salah satu anggota band nya. Setelah lama menunggu, baru ia sadar, telah berdiri di situ terlalu lama. Pada kesempatan lainnya, ia berada di dekat sungai. Tak ayal lagi muncul kembali bayangan memori dirinya duduk berduaan dengan Mew di tepi sungai sewaktu masih kecil. Bahkan pernah ia hampir saja sampai ke rumahnya, hanya ia tak mampu melangkahkan kalinya lebih jauh lagi. Keduanya sama- sama saling merindu, namun apa daya, Tong merasa belum siap untuk bertemu dengan Mew.
Satu hari, ia melihat poster August Band yang sedang naik daun. Kali itu posterna sudah lebih banyak beredar sejak band nya mulai lebih dapat nama. Ia berdiri mematung, matanya terkunci pada foto Mew. Hatinya perih, melintasi waktu, berjalan mundur ketika pertama kalinya bertemu mereka dekat warung di pinggir jalan, pertama kalinya mampir ke rumah Mew, ciuman pertamanya.... Tak sadar air matanya turun melintasi pipinya. Seolah semua itu baru saja terjadi kemarin... Sulit untuknya berjalan menjauhi poster itu, seperti mata dan hatinya menempel terlalu erat ke poster itu.
@rendifebrian, @yuzz, @YANS FILAN, @masdabudd, @blackorchid, @cassiput, @Ricky89, @dekisugi
belom baca nih,, ntar ya!